


Do Your Job

by crieshavoc



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant ish, F/F, cophine - Freeform, spoiler ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crieshavoc/pseuds/crieshavoc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working off the Space promo for 3.08; Delphine and Cosima talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Your Job

**Author's Note:**

> “If you’re not going to switch sides – let me go.”

                Delphine felt her heart break further. She gripped the desk with both hands, unsure if she was beginning to shake out of anger or despair. Not that it mattered. She stared Cosima down, eyes narrowing with frustration that bordered on contempt for this beautiful, absurd woman she’s thrown her own life away to protect.

                “Switch sides?” Delphine choked on bitter laughter. She shook her head, prying one hand loose to brush her hair out of her eyes. “I already _have_. I switched sides when I chose _you_.”

                Cosima shook her own head and made a noise of disgust and disbelief. “Bullshit. All you’ve done is lie to me and go behind my back to get what you want.”

                Delphine restrained herself from slapping the other woman. “ _What I want?_ ” She repeated the words incredulously. “What I _want?_ ” Delphine stood and took a step forward, invading Cosima’s personal space to snarl at her, leaning so they were nose to nose. “What I want is for you to be alive and safe; you and all your siblings.” Delphine repeated Cosima’s disgusted scoff as well, turning back and moving to collapse into her desk chair. She massaged her left temple, looking up again to see that Cosima’s eyes were trained on the floor.

                “Ideally,” she continued, letting her face soften minutely, “I’d like to live through this mess, as well, and for us to rebuild our relationship, but I’m not holding my breath that either of those are realistic goals.” Delphine’s stomach roiled as she spoke.

                Cosima’s head snapped up; her brows drawn tightly together. “What do you mean? Why would you living be unrealistic?”

                “What part of lying to Top Side about Rachel, shielding LEDA from their control, coercing a ruthless corporate hitman into helping me do so, attempting to fend off the remants of Project CASTOR, and balancing my own duties here at the Institute with Rachel’s extensive responsibilities to the DYAD Group – half of which are illegal – sounds safe to you?” Delphine spit the words to keep from actually spitting at the brunette. She was so tired of Cosima’s childish belligerence. “What do you think will happen to me when Top Side catches on that I am going behind _their_ backs? That I have lied to _them?_ ”

                When it became apparent that silence was the only answer the other woman would give, Delphine sighed heavily, her voice breaking now as the trembling in her arms moved up into her throat, “Do you really think so little of me, Cosima? Do you really think I am in this for my own renown or for power? I may have taken over Rachel’s job, but I have not assumed her motivations. And, for the record, I _have_ helped. I told you about Jennifer. I confronted Leekie about the stem cell line that turned out to be from Kira’s tooth – and yes,” Delphine barreled on when it seemed Cosima might interject, “I recognize that is a loaded example, but here you are, _alive_ , to argue with me about it! I have gone around you when you have stood in the way of your own health and safety, that’s true. I do respect that you deserve to be in control of your own life, of course you do, but first you have to _live_.”

                Cosima shifted from foot to foot, blinking rapidly. “Not good enough. That doesn’t excuse betraying me, or showing up at Shay’s, or any of it. It _doesn’t_ , Delphine,” she whispered, sounding hoarse and tired.

                Delphine found it oddly endearing, if infuriating, that the brunette still made her chest ache with longing and jealousy even now, even as she stubbornly refused to see reason.

                “No, I suppose not,” Delphine shrugged. “Like I said, I’m not holding my breath.” She had meant to chastise Cosima for shirking her own duties, for neglecting her work on a cure for the disease that was actively destroying her body in that very moment, but Delphine was tired. She could only fight so many battles at a time. “You and Scott need to back to work.” It was the most she could muster. Delphine just hoped it would be enough. She watched through burning eyes as Cosima silently left her office and disappeared down the hallway.

                Delphine sobbed once Cosima was out of sight, unable to hold back the sadness that weighted her shoulders any longer. She curled into her seat and let everything go. She let herself feel and, oh, it came in waves. Knowing that she had failed so many times in Cosima’s eyes, that even now she was not enough for the woman she had come to love, it washed over her and burned into her skin like a brand. It amazed Delphine that Top Side hadn’t seen through her already; hadn’t seen her for the fraud she was. Fear kept her awake long into the cold nights now: perhaps they were simply letting her tie the noose on her own. Perhaps Top Side was merely entertaining themselves with the side show her life had become. Delphine knew there was nothing for it. She couldn’t just give –

                “Delphine?”

                She gasped, back suddenly straight, looking up through tears to see Cosima on the threshold of her office again.

                “I – I forgot my hat,” Cosima gestured weakly to the guest chair. A bright orange beanie occupied the seat.

                Delphine nodded, mute with embarrassment and grief. She looked at her knees, trembling as her ex-girlfriend walked slowly closer.

                “Um, stupid question, but,” Cosima kneaded the garish hat in both hands, “a-are you okay?” She immediately slashed one hand through the air. “Don’t answer that. Delphine, look, I get it. I get that you’re doing what you think is best, but—”

                “And what, exactly, are you doing?” Delphine’s emotions were so close to the surface, so raw, it was too easy to find her anger again.

                “Excuse me?”

                “What have you been doing… other than _Shay?_ ” She glared up at the shorter woman, grinding her teeth. Everything was bleeding together. The drama and danger of Top Side and DYAD, their tumultuous and apparently failed romance, the science and the heartbreak; there was no separating it.

                Cosima defied her expectations once more; the brunette lowered her eyes in what seemed like shame instead of firing back. “You don’t get to be upset about that. You broke up with me, remember?”

                The words would have hurt if Cosima had put any venom into them.

                “I had to.”

                “Why?” Cosima sounded close to tears now.

                Delphine pushed a harsh breath out through her nose. “I told you why, _cherie_.” The familiar endearment slipped out without thought. She watched at Cosima shivered.

                “Not good enough.” A jerky shake of dreadlocks accompanied the whisper. Cosima hugged herself, the orange hat still held in one white knuckled hand, but she didn’t leave.

Delphine reached out and shook the mouse on her desk briefly, bringing her computer out of sleep mode. She brought up her browser and typed in a familiar address. “Can I show you something?” Perhaps there was a way to get through to the clone after all. She went to tilt the screen, but there was no need.

                Cosima put her free hand on the back of Delphine’s chair and squinted over her shoulder.

                Delphine unfurled, putting her heels back on the floor, twisting to keep watching the brunette’s face.

                Cosima shook her head again, “It’s in French.”

                “Obituaries in French newspapers typically are,” Delphine had to laugh. It hurt less, even now, to laugh about the moment she first realized how serious DYAD was, how dangerous. “Look again.”

                Golden brown eyes searched hers for a moment, but Cosima listened.

                Delphine waited for the recognition to register. “My parents and my brother died in a car crash three months after I was read in on LEDA. I wasn’t kidding when we both tried to warn Scott away from DYAD.” She reflexively put a hand on Cosima’s arm when the other woman started to recoil. “I have people watching his family. They’re fine, at least for now. I’m handling it.”

                Cosima nodded slowly, biting her lip and looking back at the screen.

                “Do you really think Top Side would hesitate to kill you, or kidnap you, or torture you, to get to me? When they realize I am trying to play them, to beat them at their own game, what do you think will happen if I fail?” Delphine swallowed, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’m doing the best I can, but I am out of my depth. I need to throw myself in wholeheartedly if I stand a _chance_ of protecting LEDA from them. I do love you, and I love your sisters and the rest of your family, but I can only do so much at once.”

                Cosima put her hand over Delphine’s, pulling it gently off of her, but she didn’t let go. “My parents?” She looked down at their hands, fingers shaking.

                “Also safe, for the moment,” Delphine ducked her head, trying to find Cosima’s gaze.

                Cosima closed her eyes, “Thank you.”

                “You and Scott need to get back to work, Cosima,” she repeated, pouring all the urgency she could into the words. “We can talk, and fight, and cry, and whatever you still want to do with me,” Delphine choked back more tears and forced herself to continue, “ _after_ you find the cure. Please, Cosima, just do your job so I can do mine. _Please_.” She reluctantly pulled her hand away.

                Cosima wiped a tear away from her own face and opened her eyes, “Okay. I – I’m sorry, Delphine. I don’t do well with being kept in the dark. Clearly. And I’m still mad, but it’s just, it’s all mixed up with missing you and being hurt, and being scared of dying, and—”

                “I know,” Delphine interjected softly, but it was enough to break the rant she knew was bubbling out.

                They stayed that way for several minutes, silently regarding the other, close but not touching.

                Delphine found it odd to be looking up at Cosima for once, but the reversal was not enough to force another laugh through her exhausted body.

                Cosima finally leaned forward again, pressing a chaste kiss to unresisting lips. She drew back quickly, eyes dark and rimmed with red, and cleared her throat. “I’ll be in the lab.”

                “Good,” Delphine tried to smile, but it came out strained. There was still so much to say, but it had to wait. She watched Cosima leave her office again and turned to reread her family’s obituaries. She needed the familiar numbness that always spread through her blood. She needed to be stone. She had a meeting with Marion in half an hour and she needed to be on point. 


End file.
